Welcome to Tink's Cookery Corner - this is about all I am capable of cooking! Enjoy!

Cooking? Moi?? Don't be silly!

Boiled Fruitcake



1 Cup of sugar
1 Teaspoon of salt
1 Cup of butter
1 Teaspoon Baking soda
1 Cup of mixed dried fruit
50g Walnuts
1 Cup of water
Lemon Juice
4 Large eggs
1 Bottle of Whisky
1 Tablespoon of brown sugar

Place dried fruit, water and half a cup of sugar in a small saucepan. Boil for 15 minutes. Pour whisky into shot glass and sample to check quality. Get large mixing bowl. Check whisky again. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat previous step. Turn on an electric mixed and beat butter in with a large fluffy spoon. Add 1 spoontea of baking soda, half a cup of sugar and beat again. Resample whisky to make sure its still whisky. Turn off mixer, break two legs, add to bowl. Chuck in dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If dried fruit gets stuck in the beaters pry loose with drewscriver. Sample whisky to check consistency. Next sift 2 cups of salt or salt or something, who cares what. Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add 1 babblespoon of brown sugar or whatever colour you can find. Mix well. Grease the oven, turn pancake on to 350 gredeedles. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Pour mix into cake pan and over worktop. Throw bowl out of window. Stagger to laundry, put pancake in oven, set to hot rinse. Continue sampling whisky until bottle is empty. Bo to ged.

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